The lackey has lost her mind - again

I still have the stupid plastic cone on my neck. We had a visit with Dylan and his lackey last night and tonight the lackey and I went on our normal walk. Thankfully, it’s dark now when the lackey gets home from work and none of my friends from the park have seen me in my unfashionable shame. But the lackey is being a spaz again. She did this once before; when I have my long lead on, she’ll forget how to follow behind me properly and the fact she’s doing it again makes me concerned for her head. I really must stop jumping on her to wake her up in the morning, the shock is obviously not good for her. Anyway, on our walk, I just get up to full towing speed and she stops dead. Huh? I look back to see what’s wrong and take a few steps towards her, I get “good girl” and we’re off again. Oooooo-kay. So I just get back up to full towing speed and she stops again. So I turn and go back to her again and off we go. She keeps this up all past the houses till we get to the skinny park near the war memorial. By this time, I’ve had just about enough of this stop-start rubbish and I’m walking closer to her so I can keep half and eye on her. And damn me but she keeps walking with no sudden stops! We get to the busy road and we walk close quarters with the lackey holding the lead shorter and she tells me “good girl” a few times. Yeah, I’m only staying close so I can keep an eye on you, you psycho bitch. Then we get to the big park and the lackey lets the lead run out longer. Right, off I go on my smelling tour of all the pee-mail spots. I try and drag the lackey over to my next sniff and she heads off in the opposite direction. Ahhh, so we’re playing this game again are we? So our lap around the park was all over the place and I missed half my pee-mail but I finally worked out that if I stay close to the lackey’s legs, she keeps moving where I want her to go and if I pull her my way, she won’t follow behind any more. Is this a revolt or madness? First the cone then the annoying ear drops and now this?! One more thing, just one more thing and the bitch is waking up minus a finger.