New concept for the day – sharing

With the lackey at work, my days are dotted with weird moments with Nanna and Pop. This afternoon we had one that Nanna and Pop told the lackey about at length and the conversation allowed me to understand another weird-arse human concept. I was napping on my bed in the front room. The lackey sometimes sits with me to eat and watch the little telly when it isn’t going to be for very long. We have a bigger telly (the El Seedy) in the lounge room but it has more buttons and Nanna and Pop don’t like using it. So Nanna and Pop have been using the little telly and sitting with me from time to time. This afternoon, in the middle of my nap, they turn on the telly and Pop sits down on the other cushion. Then Nanna decides she wants to cuddle up with us. They made me move! Move! During a nap! And I was on MY bed. Outrageous! Nanna said something about learning to share but whenever the lackey talks about shares she sounds nervous and talks numbers too so I was pretty sure Nanna was using the wrong word. So I scrunched up and whined a bit at them but they’re old and didn’t understand me. When the lackey hears this story from Nanna, she defended me (twice in day, gooooood lackey) by reminding Nanna and Pop that the sofa-bed was my bed and a bloody uncomfortable lounge and they should use the El Seedy if they didn’t want to share my bed. And she said this with no numbers at all. So it was the right word, just a new meaning. But I was still in the dark until Nanna bought out the sweeties and she asked the lackey if she wanted a share. The lackey said yes please and got a piece of Nan’s cake. And there I had the concept – sharing means giving someone a part of something you have. Well bite that one and rip its guts open! No bloody way do Nan and Pop get given a piece of my bed. It’s MINE you idiot humans. How about you lot learn that concept?!