New concept for the day – privacy

This learning thing is a matter of figuring out how these idiotic human brains work – takes some time but does make life simpler later. Today I learned what the word privacy meant. I hear it from the lackey – oh for Christ sake Lucy, can’t I have some privacy – whenever I nose open the tiny smelly-room door to check on the lackey. Oh and yes, do not be alarmed when your pet human shits inside the house in a special small room – they are allowed to poo inside even though you are not because they have this special place called ‘the loo’. Some smug bastard cats can get the hang of this room and use it too. But I was outside doing my thing and was checking the high part of the yard when I found some lovely dry cat shit. Yummy. I know, I know, it sticks in your teeth and the lackey yeeeeeews at you but it is one of life’s little eating pleasures. So I was just grabbing the last bit when Pop walks around the corner and sees the poo hanging out my mouth and yells at me to put it down, that’s yucky, blah blah blah. Then he tells the lackey about it when she gets home. My darling lackey defended me (as is her duty) with “Yeah, and? She’s a Staffy! Give her a denti-stick and get over it.” I love my lackey some days. Then on our walk tonight, I found some more on the dirt track to the park and tried to grab it. The lackey gave me a stern ‘drop it’… twice, then leaned into the lead a bit to drag me onwards. This confused me coz if I eat it and the lackey doesn’t see me do it, I don’t get into trouble and… wow, that’s it, that’s the concept! Eating cat shit is like the lackey doing poos on her own – it’s a privacy thing which we don’t have to point out to each other if we don’t see it happening. Now if only she’d stop watching me poo, I’d let her eat cat shit too.