Time is an illusion

For the last little while, I’ve looked at the sky when the lackey puts me outside and heads off for the day. She acts like it’s a routine and it’s the same every morning – time to get up, breakfast time, time to go. But I’ve noticed that the night is still happening more and more when she does this. Yesterday we were out before the birds were awake. Today, she wanted to leave and the sky was still dark. I got my breakfast while she packed for her day away and I popped outside to pee and check the sky. It was dark with just the tiniest bit of light. I zoomed straight back inside and parked myself on my day bed and ignored the lackey. I normally go to the kitchen and sit at the food cupboard to remind the lackey to give me a treat before she goes but it was too early. I thought that keeping her up half the night by crying at her door till I got let in would have meant we could start later but no – it felt like we started earlier coz it was STILL DARK! The lackey packed her bag and put her shoes on and I heard her pop the top of the cream she puts on my belly – the cold, cold cream on my delicate warm bare skin. I stayed on the day bed. She called me all nice and sweet like I was being good – I was not fooled and didn’t move. She tried again. Nope. Once more with a bit of growl behind it. Nope. Another ‘time to go’ but as an order. Nope. I had won! She came up to me and gave me a scratch and muttered something about me not winning this one and gave me a bit of my morning treat. I sat up to eat like a lady and she lunged and rubbed the bloody cream on my belly while I was all exposed. The total cow. I then got another bit of my treat and the lackey bodily lifted me and carried me out to the back deck. The nerve of it! And she had kicked the inside door shut as we went past so I couldn’t get back inside while she did the button thing on the wall and locked the big door. I then got the last bit of my morning treat and a stern reminder not to make things harder than they need to be. What?! When did the lackey decide my morning start time? I know what this is – it’s payback for the arguing at bed time. Fine, I get that but with my best crying puppy face, I ask you – why are we out of bed before the sun is up?