The Lackey has lost her mind.

It’s sad but sometimes it happens. When we left home for our walk last night we didn’t go up the hill around the houses, we went straight to the park and we’ve never done that before. On the way down, I could smell the treats that the lackey had in her pocket and she’s never stolen my treats before. Then when we got there, she couldn’t walk in a straight line. Weird. I’d trot off like I always do to get the lead at full stretch so I can tow her along and she didn’t move – the third new thing in ten minutes. Right, something was definitely up. So I tried again – walk straight out, get the lead tight and pull. The idiot walked the wrong way! She turned tail and dragged me behind her. Unacceptable! I had to get back in front so I tootled over and got far enough out to start pulling on the lead and she did it again – just changed direction and dragged me back. So I got back slightly in front again and we walked in a straight line for a bit and when I looked up to see if she was foaming at the mouth, I got the sit command (which I obeyed because you don’t anger crazy people) and I got one of the treats. WTF?! We did this a few times until I figured it was easier to play along with her delusion because it got me more treats. It worked. Every time I walked straight without towing the lackey, I got a treat. And damn me if it didn’t make me want to stop pulling on the lead. Who’d have thought? Still it was fun trying to get the lackey dizzy by yanking the lead and making her turn around. When we got home, I was so concerned for her mental state that I sat next to her with one paw on her leg just to keep her calm and still.