water

I was deceived. I don’t like water or the green thing the lackey waves over the garden to spread it around when it doesn’t fall out of the sky often enough. The lackey knows this as I have chewed off all the bright, hard things that join the green soft rope to the wall and we have been working on a de-sensitising program to get me comfortable enough with the water spray that I can walk up to the lackey for a scratch when she is waving it at the garden. All was going well until tonight. I had used the marrow bone previously mentioned to exercise my jaw a bit during the afternoon and the rotten coating on the now very green bone rubbed all over my neck and face. I smelled divine and any canine would have been proud to call me friend but the lackey did not agree. So during our session of sneaking in for a scratch during the water the garden time, the lackey completed the required scratching and congratulating for bravery and then grabbed my collar and gave me a light spray. The absolute, two-legged walking, talking idiot monkey! I had a good mind to eat one of her shoes just for kicks. She even told me not to be such a baby about it. It was WATER! Seriously, what the hell was she thinking? That’d I dance a bit and let her keep going?! I pelted inside straight away and then changed my mind and went and found the bone and smellied myself up again. The lackey must have got the message that I was not best pleased as I got more cuddles and a treat after. I’d call her a bitch but that maligns half my species.