you CAN teach an old lackey new tricks

Over Dylan’s again tonight and I gave the lackey another lesson in observation. Walking into the dark bathroom, I crept up to the back of the lackey’s legs and waited to see if she would notice me. She didn’t. When she turned, she stuck her great bog fat black boots out and promptly trod on my toes. I yelped and the lackey tried to step back, lift her foot and bend down to check I was okay all at once. Naturally, her monkey brain isn’t capable of this level of physical planning so her legs and arms got confused and she started to fall. Sticking out her arm may have stopped her face going onto the pointy corner of the tiled bath but that made her yelp as her arm was bent and weighted in a way that it doesn’t normally bend. I know the lackey is rather strong for a female of her useless species but she just couldn’t pull off a catching, diving one-armed push up with no stable footing. Idiot monkey. Anyway, this tough lesson has taught her to be hyper-aware of my movements at all times. Finally! It has even prompted her to change her walking style – she now slides her feet around me and tests her footing before transferring her weight. More of a wading bird style than the foot slapping stride she’s had till now. Now we can cross that lesson off the list, I’m going to move on to psychic feedback that compels the lackey to feed me without the need for me to ask for food in any way.