The price of getting stir-crazy

Three days of cold and wet weather meant that even though it was very cold last night, it wasn’t raining so the lackey and I NEEDED to go for a walk. But a small skid in the mud on our own footpath encouraged us to walk on the road for safety sake which is normally something the lackey does not allow. So that meant the park was a silly idea so we stuck to the paths and turned left at the school instead and went around a block we hadn’t been around before. Very quiet, hardly anyone home until we got to a very solid, very high fence and a Hellhound yelled at us at the top of his lungs. The lackey tried to get me to keep going but I wanted to tell him to shut up and not be so rude so I doubled back. Unfortunately for the lackey, neither of us paid attention to the long lead on my harness so one quick circle and a lunge later, the lackey was face planted into the footpath. She was not best pleased with this but was back up on her feet and yelling at me in no time. The Hellhound’s handler had heard him yelling and came out to check on him and saw the lackey fall, they assured each to her that all was well and we went home. The shortest walk in months was also the most eventful! When we did get home the lackey explained to me that she was relieved to have been wearing two layers of clothes as that saved her arms and knees a bit. She did point to her skinned knee and bleeding hand and told me I did it. No – you did that yourself, you idiot monkey, by not holding the lead properly and not reacting fast enough to my curiosity over a new friend. Still, I could see her point, or at least pretended to so I wouldn’t be commanded outside for the night. But in the deep dark, I felt a bit sorry for the lackey as she whimpered a bit when I stepped on her legs in the night so I thought and I thought about what I could do to cheer her up so I thought about what cheers me up and I had the answer – raw cow bones. I couldn’t go outside and get her the one I had left from the morning as the laundry door was shut against the cold so I did the next best thing – I hacked up the one I had eaten earlier. Now the lackey didn’t respond the way I expected. My walking to the foot of the bed had roused her a little so when she heard me yakking she said “Please don’t tell me you’re chucking on the bed”. Okay… but I was. The lackey made this strangled sort of I’ve-given-up sound and it seemed like she wasn’t going to get up and share my second hand bone bits. So I did what was right and cleaned them up myself the only way a dog can – I ate them back down again. Crunchie, crunchie. The lackey groaned a bit and I thought for a moment she was going to hack up something for me but she didn’t. Still, no harm done. I still got my breakfast and my treat and my cuddle when she left for work. She did tell me to clean up the rest of the bones on the deck but it was still half dark so I went back in the laundry instead and went to sleep.