I have not been away

I just haven’t been in control of the lackey for a while. I tried everything that had worked before – licking her eyeballs, drooling in her ear when she’s asleep, standing on her head, sleeping on her arms and legs, never leaving her alone for a minute – but none of it worked this time. I just couldn’t work out why the mind to mind connection seemed to have broken down.

But hang on, if that was true… how come the lackey still fed me at the right times, gave me treats when I asked, chatted to me on our walks, scratched me when I needed it, cuddled me when she’d get home after being at work all day, all of that was still working. Then I worked it out. It wasn’t that our connection to each other was less, it was that other stuff was drowning it out. Like when you think you hear the dog down the corner barking but you can’t be sure because the telly is on and the lackey doesn’t seem to hear it and you have to go outside to get a clear sound – it was like that. I was barking in the back of her brain but all the other stuff going on in her head had covered it up.

Once I worked that out, I took pity on the poor talking monkey and let her sleep through a few nights. I kept my bouncing down and my small dark hours bark-fests to the nights when she’d been home all day and let her get some rest for the days when she goes to work. It was like magic! All of a sudden we’re back in step. I’ve even managed to sniff out the bag of bones she brought home the other day hidden in the think bag and I haven’t had one of them for ages. She still loves me!

So things are heading back to normal for us. The shattering of our routine when Nanna and Pop were here is almost fixed. But their room hasn’t been cleaned up yet – actually not much has been cleaned up in ages so there’s no icky cleaner smells stinking up the place and I can breathe inside the house again. Although she stills sprays our bedroom morning and night no matter how tired she is.

The lackey has been busier that a sheep dog with a flock that’s been left in the hills for a bit too long and she has to yard them all on her own! I was beginning to think that she’d just give up sleeping altogether so she could keep up with stuff but this weekend, we spent the whole time (when not going for walks) in our room with me sprawled all over the big bed and the lackey within paw’s reach at her desk all all all weekend. It was brilliant. And she got me my favourite treats again so all is right again with our little world.

And really, that’s all that matters.